My thoughts inside

What if these scars really don’t ever go away? My wedding day…the day where you are supposed to be the most beautiful girl in the whole place. But I won’t be. Because beautiful girls aren’t supposed to have scars on their arms…

You know when you haven’t cut in what seems like forever to you and you’re doing really well actually? But then you have that day or that night or even just that moment when you see your old scars. You see them and you think, one or two more couldn’t hurt. And you do it again. Not too bad. No one can notice because everyone thinks you’re fine. And maybe you are. But are we ever really okay again? Once you’ve started cutting, will it really ever go away? Will we ever be able to go a day, a week, a month without at least considering running that blade across our skin again? I’m really not sure. These relapses keep happening every few weeks or so. They can be random or they can be set off by nearly anything. I just don’t think I can ever fully recover…the scars will never leave and I’m starting to wonder if the urge will…